Meghan Markle’s New Jam Venture: A Sweet Success or Just Another Flop?

In a surprising twist that's sure to raise eyebrows, Meghan Markle is back in the spotlight with a new business venture that seems to have emerged from the depths of obscurity.

Introducing American Riviera Orchard, a brand that has been as elusive as a rare sighting of Bigfoot.

Launched with much anticipation a year ago, it appears Markle's lifestyle brand has yet to produce a single product.

But don't lose hope just yet; reports suggest that her long-awaited jam is finally on its way to store shelves—allegedly.

However, this isn't your typical launch at an upscale boutique or a chic online shop.

Instead, Meghan will showcase her jam, honey, and olive oil at Netflix House, as the streaming giant ventures into the world of physical retail.

The products will debut in two major shopping malls: King of Prussia in Philadelphia and the Dallas Galleria.

It's hard to imagine a more unusual pairing than artisanal spreads next to merchandise from Netflix's hit series, Squid Game.

Markle's previous attempts at business have included a podcast that was abruptly canceled after just one season and a Netflix deal that seems to be hanging by a thread.

Now, she's placing all her bets on… strawberry jam.

But here's the kicker: American Riviera Orchard doesn't even have a trademark yet.

So what will it be called?

Perhaps “Scam Jam,” “Sweaty Strawberry,” or “Race-Baiting Raspberry” could be contenders.

The possibilities are endless!

In a recent shift, the brand seems to be adopting a new slogan: “With Love.”

This could lead to a line of products such as With Love Jam or With Love Dog Biscuits—whatever can be mass-produced and slapped with a label.

Don't expect anything exclusive or artisanal, though.

If you're picturing Meghan carefully crafting small batches of jam on her picturesque Californian farm, think again.

The reality is likely much less glamorous.

The smart money suggests that Markle might be sourcing generic, mass-produced jam, simply rebranding it, and calling it bespoke.

It's a classic marketing strategy, albeit one that usually at least attempts to create an illusion of craftsmanship.

For comparison, even King Charles sells jams and honey from his own estate, which he uses to support charitable causes.

Markle, on the other hand, seems unable to grow anything at her Montecito residence except for PR controversies.

Let's take a moment to reflect on the irony of this new venture.

Once, Meghan mingled with the crème de la crème of royalty.

Now, she's attempting to sell jam in a mall, competing with Swiss Colony cheese logs and kiosks hawking tins of popcorn.

Nothing screams luxury quite like trying to outshine a store that sells matching pajamas for families—and their pets.

Who even shops at malls anymore?

They've become a haven for teenagers avoiding their parents, seniors taking leisurely walks, and those desperately hunting for Auntie Anne's pretzels.

This isn't the high-profile move her public relations team would have us believe.

It feels more like a QVC-level sales attempt, but without the audience eager to make purchases.

On a broader scale, Meghan's five-year, $100 million Netflix contract is nearing its end, and insiders are suggesting it may not be renewed.

The pressure is on her to prove she can sell something—anything—to maintain her relevance in Hollywood.

Netflix, perhaps out of curiosity or obligation, is giving her a shot at this mall kiosk.

It's a test.

If Meghan's “With Love” brand fails to gain traction, Netflix will likely sever ties quietly and move on.

Should a few jars actually sell—perhaps thanks to Prince Harry's efforts to support her—Meghan might see a small share of the profits, while Netflix reaps the majority.

If history serves as any guide, these jars of jam will follow a familiar trajectory.

Initially, there will be buzz, press releases, and glowing articles praising Meghan's latest venture.

But as reality sets in, the overpriced generic product may struggle to find buyers.

Expect desperation discounts, with those $30 jars inevitably ending up at discount retailers like TJ Maxx for $2.99, or worse, at dollar stores and food banks.

So, is this Meghan Markle's golden opportunity, or merely another overhyped endeavor destined for failure?

Only time will tell, but we'll be keeping an eye on those jars when they inevitably hit the clearance aisle.